- VISIONS OF MINE -

Hi Bitte

I'm glad to hear that your son is doing well. And I wish him the best of luck.
I drive on that road every day, and it's not the first time youngsters crosses the road in the manner your son and his friend did. You think they're going to stop, but instead they hit the speeder. I've seen it a couple of times. What went wrong this time, well my guess is that the driver (Frede) didn't calculate for the weight of two people, and therefore a slower acceleration.
I'm writing to you because I too need to let all the anger and frustration get out. My husband is a very caring and loving father for our two children and a good husband (very responsible and attending), and not as you, so indirect refer him to, as a monster. I know that this fact puts a big pressure on him, and makes him very angry. Especially the part where you enhance what Thomas wrote a few days after the accident. The lies, postulations and denial, made him sad, but the part where you censure what strangers are allowed to read /write has really turned him on and made him angry. All his sympathies toward you have gone.
He too wants all the best for our Children, like you do yours. But trying to turn the story to your favor sounds to me like, you are not only trying to place your son as a innocent victim. Your act of defense towards people writing about the boys matter in this case, makes it sound you're also afraid that people might think of you as a bad mother, for not making sure your son wasn't doing anything wrong. As if it's you, and not your son you are protection. You've weren't there eighter, so you do in fact not know what happened. Your son and the other boy were in a state of chock, and I doubt they know what really happened.
It is with mixed feelings I read your weblog. In a way we both wish we never heard about the blog, but we're glad to know that he (your son) is doing better, and are able to follow his steps forward. I'm angry at you, for trying to categorize my husband, as a cold and heartless psychopath (Taking pictures, when this was a lie). This accident has had a big impact on our family too. Thomas hasn't been able to function normally at his work, but after attending a psychologist it has improved. He has been hunted by guilt, even when knowing that he had no influence in the outcome of the event. At home he also has a hard time to focus on family life. I know this might seem irrational to you when having a son with a broken leg, but we are very much depending on having two cars. Renting a car in 2-4 weeks is expensive and a monument of irritation. We're renting a car, so that the hours away from our kids is as short as possible. Using the public transportation just isn't an option, when living in the country and working abroad.
You need to get realistic and see your sons own position in this mess. He chose to ride with his friend and he chose not to wear helmet. I'm very surprised that you keep insisting that at least one of them wore a helmet, when no one else at the scene where able to find any sign of it, even when looking. Both the driver and the passenger is 100% positive that none of them wore helmets.
My husband couldn't have reacted any differently when driving along that road. I'm just glad that his reflexes is so damn fast that he was able to slow the car and hit the rear wheel as he did. (of course it would have been perfect if he hadn't hit them at all, but that just wasn't the case) Had he not hit them, they would probably have done it again. Teenagers are in general reckless and lack of responsibility. I could have lost my husband and my kids their father and you, your son and his friend.

I hope you read the letter and understand, that I know you only want was best for your kid, but that he too has a role in what's happening in our family.
I do not care whether you chose to public this or not. But there are always two sides of every story, and every side has it rights to be heard, especially when published in a public forum.

Thomas wife